Can Autumn Last Forever?

Autumn, I think, is an appropriate metaphor for my present existence.


You see, the last 3 years have been the strangest years of my life, so far at least. I have found in Salvador Dali’s paintings (the greatest artist ever) the visual  tools to describe my present state of affairs. Thank you Salvador and Rodin, for the priceless inspiration. 'If both you artists were blind, you would have still seen more man most.'

with my head held in my hands...

It seems not so long ago I had a family, a house, a car, a job and money and now, none of the above! Well obviously I still have family but the dynamics have changed. These things have disappeared over the last 36 months, or even collapsed, like domino pieces on the wobbly table of life.

helpless, constrained and in suspense...

I find myself trying to make sense of this senseless phase, and asking what the hell has happened in the last 3 years?

why is there no movement?

I miss having my own home.

I miss having a good job.

I miss having routine and stability in my life.

I miss looking forward to weekends, mostly spent fishing with Mattie or visiting my beloved and sorely missed brother Paulo, who has also sadly departed from my life... far too soon.

I miss being a full time dad to Mattie. I miss making his tea in the morning and kissing his freshly awakened face. I missed out last time with Shaun and Katie and now, once again, history seems to be repeating itself.

what next?...



In the last 3 years I lost all those things and now find myself stranded in limbo, head held in my idle hands, waiting for an opportunity to kick-start my life.

when will I see my REAL reflection?

I await my rebirth with anticipation...should it happen

I believe it will happen, eventually, but… when?

How much is too much?

:(