My house rocks !

Please don't think I'm boasting, I'm not, but I want  to show you my homes and neighbours;

This one is in Fafe, Portugal

Cool or what?  And here is my country neighbour, Sidney

A type of grass snake

and my town house;

This one's in central London

Not bad hey? And here is my city neighbour, David;

A type of city snake

...could be worse I guess, I really should learn to be more grateful :)

Naked ape? not me!

Why are we humans known as the 'Naked Apes'? Who ever came out with that saying should seek medical help. We humans are generally always covered up (excluding porn stars and fading celebs) and apes are not.

I am at a stage in life where I can't get naked, even if I want to! The problem is I've started sprouting hair from places that didn't have any before; that shouldn't have any as far as I am concerned. Why the hell is hair growing out of my nostrils, ears, back and butt cheeks (see my latest photo below)? All this new growth is weakening the thatch on top of my head. How unjust.

DON'T LAUGH ! You are all heading the same way.

...hear,hear - good and bad news

First the good news;

Wyclef Jean is NOT on the official candidates list for the presidency of Haiti (YEAH !!!!)

...and now the bad news;

My beloved g.f. Madeleine has lost half of her beautiful face! Don't dare think it has anything to do with my poor photography skills,cause it doesn't...ok?

xx

Stunning pictures...to die for?

Recently I came across some pictures that are so powerful , beautiful and thought provoking, that I can't get them  out of my mind !

I refer to images of the Cancun Underwater Museum in Mexico.

The project began in November 2009 with placement of 100 statues in shallow waters of the Cancún National Marine Park and will eventually 'house' 400 works by artist Jason DeCaires Taylor.

As creator of the world’s first underwater sculpture park, Jason DeCaires Taylor has gained international accolades for his work. His sculptures highlight ecological processes and delve with the intricate relationship between modern art and the environment. By using sculptures to create artificial reefs, the artist underlines our need to understand and protect the natural world.

Here are some stunning images to whet your appetite;

  Aren't they incredible?   Here are a couple more;

It's a wonderful idea, but being the sceptic that I am I must question the obvious!! What about the Health & Safety aspect for the visitors?  The gulf of Mexico is home to all kinds of sharks, including the great white ! Can the museum guarantee the safety of it's customers?  I don't think so. Maybe 'duty of care' is not so important in Mexico, the land where men women & CHILDREN consume sulphuric acid and caustic soda flavoured mince (known locally as chilli con carne) and don't bat an eye lid. The following picture illustrates my concerns;

Call me a spoil-sport but ...I wont be taking my diving suit to Cancun. Tequila, cerveza and late nights are not conducive with scuba diving. Health & Safety for me (at least safety).

Things that annoy me - presently

It's like 'deja vu'
1. Wycleff Jean's bid for the presidency of Haiti
2. Naomi Campbell
3. Religion
4. Smugness
5. Conspiracy theories
6. Toddlers & Tiaras and other unpleasant TLC reality shows
7. Most politicians and all political parties
8. Wasps & mosquitoes
9. People who have unprotected sex & then act surprised at getting pregnant
10. Itchy butt

Not necessarily in that order but it will do for now (I feel better already)
X

...not amused,suspense sucks !

waited so long- going off colour

STILL waiting to hear (6 days!) whether my job interview last week was successful or not. Nothing fucks me off annoys me more than waiting...and waiting for something to happen  (I believe a fellow blogger  is going through a similar phase - but with his bowel movements). It wouldn't have been so bad if my prospective employer gave me a date for the decision - but he didn't. All he said was he would decide before month end...ARGHHHH !!! (please,someone knock me out for a week or so)

Going back to the above paragraph, I mentioned that nothing annoys me more than waiting... I was slightly off the mark with that. I can think of a few other things and will mention them in my next posts.

"Feel Good" review of the month

The Enneagram is a delightful read, to the point and written as a series of letters between patients and psychologist, Simon Parke.  It explains "The Enneagram", a chart depicting the nine human character traits.
It is a work in progress, invented 1500 years ago, and has evolved over the centuries.   It allows the reader to find their "number" or character trait and then advises on how to face one's own demons and change certain attitudes in order to achieve a more balanced life.

It is very accurate in it's description of me, anyway, 'spookily' so. I realized very soon into the book what my number was; and was surprised with the quality of advice offered!

A no-nonsense guide to how some of our traits influence our lives and how to change with the minimum of effort (suits me)

So friends, I know most of your already live a rich, fulfilled life, but if not (like me) I reccommend you add it to your 'bucket-list'. Happy reading

My 'PIN' (Pre Interview Nerves)

Preparing for a job interview - nervous as hell - really want the job-  do my homework - find out all I can about the company - read up on interview techniques - same old blah blah...- conclusion; be honest.

That's it ! Just be honest !..but still, must prepare and prepare.

Run interview in my head, from start to finish. Imagine the office, the interviewer, the questions - prepared for all the questions? I think so.

Wonder how on-line character test went days before interview...not given the results...must have been OK or wouldn't get the interview! Half the battle won, surely. No?

 Wishing I knew what was coming. Wishing I knew what kind of person interviewer is, but nothing on google or facebook...damn... read up on the product - that's it, product knowledge is a sure winner...or is it?

Is the suit alright? the right shirt and tie combo? smart enough? maybe not. Don't know enough about interviewer, that's the problem; if only I knew what kind of person he is?!?!. Is he sporty casual or smart posh? Don't know, best be as smart as possible.

Arrived early, hands sweaty in nervous anticipation...offered coffee. Nice relaxed atmosphere, looked around, like the place. Really like the feel of the place, WANT THIS JOB! Want it so badly. I know there are 4 others competing, but, I should have the edge. Experience etc.

Boss wakes me from daydream! "Hello Joe?" Hello Tim, how are you? "Good thanks, follow me".

Into his office, argh...wait...there's someone else in there!? Oh no, interviewed by 2 people, that's all I need.
Didn't prepare for this...panic...no,no no...must relax and be honest, not difficult is it?

An hour and ten minutes later we bid our farewells...Went well, better than  expected.  In with a great chance! I'll have to wait a few days now. The suspense of waiting is unbearable, worse than pre-interview

I hope I get this job, good money,good prospects, nice car.  Did my best, hope I came across well.

My advice; Be honest and to the point. Be prepared for the question "what are your weaknesses". Make sure you mention a valid weakness, for interviewers know you are not perfect. If you are honest about your weakness(es) the interviewer will believe your strengths.

Interviewers the world over believe they choose the right candidate for the job based on the abilities and required qualities...but  not so. Don't be deceived by this...untruth. Interviewers choose the people they like. That's it, pure and simple. If they like you they will employ you.

Help bring down abusive tv show!

and finally  Friends , your help is needed NOW !

A noble campaign by Charles Emerson against a Discovery Channel show "Toddlers & Tiaras" is gathering pace in blogosphere. The mentioned program is an affront to decency and is abusive to the children involved. It is disgusting, believe me. Anyone out there who would like to offer support or knows how to contact the channel or the show's producers, please leave a comment on his blog

Chechnya...looking back

I am no youngster, I have lived an interesting life, I have witnessed odd and quirky human behaviour throughout my humble existence and tried to make sense of the senseless;  but the TV documentary  "This World:Stolen Brides"  left me completely stumped - baffled - at what some societies still accept as normal behaviour.

I learned that around 40% of Chechnyan young women are kidnapped and forced to marry their abductors. 40% !     Apparently most young Chechnyan men think it OK to kidnap a girl off the street and marry her! Stranger still, the mothers of these young men think it is absolutely fine for their sons to find a bride by these means!

 But worse still, most of the kidnapped girls also find this practice acceptable !!

 WHAT THE    F&*%K   IS GOING ON IN CHECHNYA?!??? That used to be  a popular way of finding a wife  when we were all still living in caves and grunting at each other.

Talk about 'sweeping her off her feet'!

Nostalgia or just London rain in my eyes?

What joy I felt visiting Portobello Road Market with Madeleine Saturday afternoon! Great trip down memory lane for me. Nostalgia at it's most powerful! You see, I grew up around it, went to school there (Isaac Newton Secondary) and regrettably, also became complacent about it... until this return visit, that is.

What a fantastic market! And I am not just referring to the street stalls selling everything from freshly cooked paella to hand-made jewellery, from old vinyl records to handcrafted stage costumes; but also to it's variety of shops selling used designer clothes (prices to die for), musical instruments, leather jackets and handbags, and everything else under the sun. Traditional British pubs occupy every street corner, scenting the area with the sweet smell of brewed hops and sausage & mash. It is a joy to mingle in the throng of tourists and to listen to the locals with their unmistakable west London accents, as we snake our way from the Nottinghill end to the Goldborne Road intersection.

We made our way to Lisboa Patisserie in the hope of getting some Pasteis De Belem (see pic below) wonderful Portuguese delicacies, akin to the British custard tart; and of course a cup of 'real' coffee. Sadly we arrived too late for the Pasteis which are baked daily on the premises and have a habit of selling out by mid-day! When will the owners realize they are losing business and start supplying to demand? It's been the same for the last 30 years!!

Madeleine saw and fell for, a designer used handbag, (Louis Vuitton or Gucci...), I can't remember now, and has vowed to return for it as soon as her own handbag starts carrying money again. :)

Portobello Market is not the sort of place to visit if just reminiscing, as in my case, or window-shopping, as in Madeleine's. You really do need to take a wad of cash, as there are bargains everywhere. And most importantly you need to set aside a whole day in order to enjoy it's potential.

Madeleine and I have vowed to return to this most fascinating of markets on a regular basis. We may even rent an apartment nearby as soon as finances allow.

So dear friends, if you are ever in London you must visit Portobello Market, for to miss the experience would be a tragedy akin to:

...visiting Paris and not seeing the Eiffel tower, or Stockholm and not seeing the "Old Town", or Madrid and skipping the Prado, or Piza and not visiting the tower, or New York and not seeing the Statue of Liberty, or... good grief, sorry but I'm getting carried away, again !...must be the new medicine, or the quitting smoking, or the lack of a job, or the lack of sleep, or...or.. AAHGHHHHHHHHH

I'm a celebrity, get me a presidency (or a brain)...

A fine blog I follow from across the pond, arealgoodblog.blogspot.com, by a talented and witty writer Charles Emerson III, mentioned today the absurdity of 'old rapper' Wyclef Jean's intention of running for the presidency of Haiti.

Well, I just had to confirm the story, and now, can't resist having a dig myself! I'm not stealing your thunder, Charles (couldn't if I tried anyway) but I must vent my anger.

So the pompous "bling-laden" airhead thinks he is qualified for the job !! Is it because he is a B class celebrity?.. or of Haitian origins?.. or a shit accountant (see below)? Is that all it takes??? The mind boggles.

Haiti needs a statesman of stature, comparable to the likes of Nelson Mandela or Mahatma Gandhi, to free Haiti from it's present predicament, not some dubious rapper from Newark, New Jersey with a dodgy tax record.

OK, I'll be fair and mention his attributes;

He set up the Yele Haiti Foundation in 2005 to help poor children in Haiti with scholarships, but...this is where it gets good...all the money raised ended up with good ol' Wyclef and his partner Jerry Duplessis!! This is still being investigated by the US Authorities!!! And how about Yele Haiti's predecessor, the Wyclef Foundation? Well that's even worse...

The Wyclef Jean Foundation has been involuntarily dissolved several times by the Florida Division of Corporations for failing to provide all necessary tax details to the authorities!!!

FANTASTIC !! And he wants to become president of the world's poorest nation??? With his accounting skills??? God forbid.

WYCLEF, YOUR COUNTRY DOESN'T NEED YOU, so get back to your gangster-rap lifestyle, arrogant *%&£! Who DO you think you are? Ronald Reagan? eh? Arnold Schwarzenegger?

(I feel better now)... but not much.

...AND FROM ONE ARROGANT AIRHEAD TO ANOTHER;

Naomi Campbell has made a court appearance at the trial of Charles Taylor, ex Liberian warlord and diamond peddler. Naomi accepted a "gift" from Taylor in the form of a pouch filled with uncut diamonds, delivered to her hotel room in the middle of the night.

Ms Campbell didn't think it odd, after all she gets presents all the time from all kinds of people.!! The "caption of the trial" must be her admission to not knowing of a country called Liberia or the term "Dirty Diamonds".

I guess mother nature was kind to Naomi when dishing out looks...and that is all!

Amish...are they for real?

Did anyone watch "The World's Squarest Teenagers" on Channel 4? Quite interesting. It is the story of 5 Amish youngsters from the American mid-west, on a cultural exchange trip to London, where they will stay with different families, from the rich suburban type to poor inner city working class.

It is interesting to hear these teenagers views on life. Interesting and inconceivable that they, who have led a sheltered life, completely away from television, press, books and all outside influence, can and do pass judgement on other people's beliefs and way of life. The Amish do not play musical instruments and only sing to praise the Lord. They do not dance or drink alcohol or date or kiss before marriage. In fact they don't do much at all apart from reading the Bible over and over again. Life is seen as just a short trip towards the eternal after-life. What if there is no after life? Don't they ever worry in case things don't go to plan?

The girl seen in the above photo (second from left) asked one of her British friends, a Muslim, if she believed in Jesus. The Muslim girl politely replied that she believes in God, Allah in Arabic, the same God as the Christians, but not in Jesus as the son of God. According to the Muslim scriptures Jesus was a prophet, just like Moses, Muhammad and many others.

The Amish girl was shocked by this (most sensible) reply, and was then heard saying that her friend had succumbed to the work of the devil !?!?!

WHAT THE %*&+ IS ALL THAT ABOUT?

Reality TV is 'scraping the bottom of the barrel' for ideas to entertain us. From the dreadful, shallow, offensive, abusive "Toddlers & Tiaras" to the brain-dead "World's Squarest Teenagers"... it doesn't bode well for the future of TV entertainment, does it?

Just as well we all have the Internet and Blogs to keep us going :)

My next post will be about an important issue...I promise... getting tired of having a go at religion.

Religion is...smug as a bug in a rug...

I don't like smugness, I don't do 'smug'. It is a characteristic I detest, more than any other!


Has anyone noticed how smug religious people are when discussing this topic with non-believers? They tend to wear the look on their faces that depicts "I know something you don't". Moreover, it implies people like me, who are of a scientific disposition and not at all religious, don't know the 'truth' - and at worst, influenced by satanic forces!!!

Is prejudice not a sin anymore? Is intolerance not a sin?...how about arrogance?.. they are in my book anyway and I don't even have a book.


The truth is, the Darwinists of this world (and other enlightened minds) are a lot closer to the truth than the 'lambs-to-slaughter' followers of people (yes, just ordinary people, not saints!) like Joseph Smith (Mormons) and Charles Russell/Joseph Rutherford (Jehovah's W) and many other self-proclaimed leaders of countless splinter groups.


The above mentioned men must have possessed great powers of persuasion in order to steer their flock away from their original churches and beliefs ! How did they do it? Well, just like all other great 'earthly' leaders throughout history, they realised how gullible some people can be and set to work on them, that's how. Am I the only sceptic here??

Just imagine some charismatic figure appearing nowadays, re-interpreting the Holy Book and re-converting the previously re-converted!?! Would they be taken seriously???

Actually, there is a characteristic I detest and pity more than smugness - GULLIBILITY

Cosmetic surgery...on the cheap

(Picture:for reference only)

Onto a brighter note, I will share with you a conversation between a wife and husband.

Wife: I want a boob job !
Husband: Why?
Wife: To enlarge them of course!
Husband: There's another way without going under the knife!
Wife: You're kidding...Go on
Husband: Rub toilet paper over your boobs once a day, that's how!
Wife: How's that gonna work???
Husband: It worked for your butt !

"TIME" to stop the abuse...

Well done to Time magazine for the shocking cover of this weeks edition. It is the story of 18 year old Aisha who ran away from an abusive marriage only to be caught by her husband, brother in law and local Taliban militia.

Aisha was held down by her brother in law while her husband sliced off her nose and ears... with the approval of the local Taliban commander.

Is there any hope for the future of Afghanistan with the Taliban in place? Clearly not. These barbaric images are part of daily life, including the stoning to death of women condemned (wrongly in most cases) of adultery.

If only the 'sharia law' imposers could learn a single lesson from the Bible, I would like it to be the following : 'Let he who is free from sin cast the first stone'

Sadly, and once again archaic extremist groups are giving the great religion of Islam a bad reputation.

Meanwhile the women continue to suffer silently....again...and again