Naked ape? not me!

Why are we humans known as the 'Naked Apes'? Who ever came out with that saying should seek medical help. We humans are generally always covered up (excluding porn stars and fading celebs) and apes are not.

I am at a stage in life where I can't get naked, even if I want to! The problem is I've started sprouting hair from places that didn't have any before; that shouldn't have any as far as I am concerned. Why the hell is hair growing out of my nostrils, ears, back and butt cheeks (see my latest photo below)? All this new growth is weakening the thatch on top of my head. How unjust.

DON'T LAUGH ! You are all heading the same way.