Sunday, 20 November 2011

A very public affair

Is publishing a diary-like blog a good or bad thing?

If it is good, why is it not recognized as a valid therapy?

If it is bad, should it not carry a health warning?

I am wrestling with this dilema and am afraid I may be airing my linen in public when it may be counter productive to do so. I refer specifically to my situation with Madeleine. I announced our split up on Blogger before telling anyone else!

I wanted to let the people I care about know, and those people read my blog.  A bit like sending a text message to multiple receivers, I was spared the hassle of repeating the same thing over and over again.

On Facebook I was more cautious and chose to drop a couple of subtle hints instead of making a full announcement. I don´t know why that should be; why I should differentiate between FB and Blogger, but I know I do. Or maybe it´s because a lot of FB friends are not real friends but acquaintances and friends of friends - people I would not normally confide in.

Should a blog be treated in the same way as we treat a best friend or relative?

We talk to friends about our problems and normally get some sort of uplifting feedback. Blogging produces a similar result if/when we get comments.

Blog friends are, to a degree, virtual. I can´t be sure those people I´ve come to like as friends actually do exist. They may even all be the same person with different pseudonyms.  A bit far fetched I know, but possible nonetheless.

Whether blog friends can be considered true friends or not is up for debate but I can´t see any good reason as to why not. I feel as if I know my blog pals quite well. At least as well as I know some real friends.

On blogland I enjoy reading about my friends exploits and daily struggles, such as:

Annah´s quest for famosity - Nessa´s DIY skills - Dickys ´Dirty Old Town´ of Farnborough - Dan´s trips down the dark alleys of St Kilda - Sharon´s Sleepless in Otford Nights - Baglady´s Nile adventure - Louis Wu´s attacks on the Tea Party - Cold´s Moscow Tales - Pearl´s kindness to Banjo players - Momma C´s book reviews and recipes and many many others (sorry for those who didn´t get a mention, I love u also) too numerous to mention.

Those people I consider to be friends even though we have never met.  As communication goes, the written word comes a close second to speech.

Going public - Is this what I´m doing?

Seems like the jury´s still out on this matter. Time will tell.

On a lighter note, I´d like to share a conversation with you I had with my uncle JS from London, yesterday morning. JS sent me the pic above from his iPhone.

JS:   Hey Joe Boy, how´s it goin´?
ME: OK... still in bed, late night last night...
JS:   I read your blog, about you and M
ME: Oh yeah, that... not very nice
JS:   Don´t worry Joe, plenty more fish in the sea!

JS´s intentions were to give me support and encouragement, I know, but being as curt as he is, it didn´t have the desired effect. JS is as blunt as a brick when it comes to sensitive matters but I know he means well.

Its all very well saying there´s plenty of fish in the sea, but how can I be sure my bait is as effective as it once was?

Maybe I should change bait if I want to catch a different kind of fish.



  1. Great blog post Joe, that throws up some interesting questions. I think i do treat some of the bloggers I interact with as friends; even though I'm unlikely to ever meet them. It feels as though I know a little about them, and enjoy hearing from them: but are they friends? I don't see why not! I recently cleaned out my Facebook account of so called friends. People from school that I haven't seen or spoke to since the 80s. I'm down to under 20, but they are actualy my real good friends.

  2. This post has many valid points! I have had occasion to wonder many of the same questions when I post, Especially when I get vitriolic. Sometimes, it really is easier to just get it out in one big heaping blog post and then field the commentary.

    What feels right to you at the time is probably what is best for you in the moment. I guess that all depends on you and your needs at the time.

    I can make words into pretty flowery mush and I can use them like daggers, but when I write I feel I have more control over what comes out and how it is toned. In person, I am as blunt as your Uncle. Some people find that abrasive, others refreshing. There's no winning that one!


  3. Dicky: I share your views on blog friends. We do learn a fair bit about them from their writing, and because we only follow who we like we are effectively picking/chosing our friends as we do in real life.Thanks for the comment

    Momma:Good point, we go public when we feel the need to do so. I know you are REAL - you definitely exist. Thanks for your comment

  4. Sharing is good. The whole public thing is a bold move I think and in a good way.
    I admire your courage.

  5. Thank you WW for reading my post and commenting. I´ll check yours over later