Monday, 28 November 2011

Sweet music to my ears and an erotic story

Here we go with a two part post; the first part being about my situation and the second is an extract from a post I read earlier that made me laugh out loud. It tickled me so much I decided to steal it and use it here. It is from the hilarious Jules over at Gravel Farm. Check him out if you haven´t already. Laughter is in short supply lately and I want to change that.

But first, me with "Sweet music to my ears"

Music has, of late, become more important to me than ever before. It has taken over my life.

It is my source of pleasure, income, expression, friendship and melancholy; in some songs, all those things at once.

Songs I have sang hundreds of times before have now taken new meanings because of my present circumstances. It's almost as if they were written for me and about me. I don´t really believe the artists who penned these lyrics know me well enough to dedicate their work to yours truly - but I could be wrong!

I refer to lyrics such as;

"To think I might not see those eyes

makes it so hard not to cry

and as we say our long goodbye

I nearly do..."

...and ;

" You say that we´ve got nothing in common

No common ground to start from

And we're falling apart.

You say the world has come between us

our lives have come between us

but I know you just don't care..."


But on the plus side, I am enjoying singing more than ever and for that I am grateful.

***

An erotic story by Jules -The Gravel Farm

(...)

She opened wide after a single knock, and raised a questioning eyebrow at the darkly tall stranger standing before her.

"I have come. . . " he growled deep in his throat, a testosterone fuelled baritone that she could feel in her very core, its timbre threatening to vibrate her knickers off, " . . . to fix your washing machine."

"Oh god!" she exclaimed breathlessly, "I was just going to have a bath." She looked at him askance, and he looked back at her askance as well, "In the nude!" she elucidated.

"But I have already brought my enormous plumbing tool," he waved it back and forth in front of her flushed cheeks, its hard, unforgiving length still glistening from another lady's fluids.

"My!" she gasped, admiring his professional manner. "Then it would be a shame if you got it out and didn't get chance to use it."

"I will be very . . ." He leaned forward, lowering his voice even further as their eyes met, his gaze smouldering like slices of black pudding in a frying pan " . . . quick."

"Good." she whispered back, relief flooded quite literally out of her, and she led him into the bedroom where she kept her washing machine.

"I keep my washing machine in the bedroom." She told him.

"That is completely normal and requires no clarification." He smoothed his moustache down and wiped his brow. "It's a little hot in here." He pointed out unnecessarily. "Would you mind if I made myself a little more . . ." he paused as he unbuttoned his shirt and searched for a word, " . . . sexy."

"Why not at all." She replied. "It is very, very warm in here, and me wearing this hot, winter silk negligee as well." She shrugged it off, but left her high heels on for the purposes of decorum.

"Now," he knelt before her and raised his tool in front of them both, expertly manoeuvring it into position. "Let me at it."

"That's it. Right there" She showed him. "Yes. There. Right in the alcove. That's it. Right there."

"Yes, I can see it because it is quite large, it being a washing machine."

True to his word, he was expertly quick, finishing rapidly and then holding up his tool wot was all covered in white residue.

"You see, the problem is you haven't been descaling it, and it's a bit like a kettle in that respect, so perhaps you should use Calgol

"That's really very efficient of you, and reasonably priced as well. Thank you very much,"

"You're welcome." He cleaned his tool on the bedroom curtains before making his way to the van, leaving another very satisfied customer in his wake.

A few days later they met in the street, swapped numbers and went on dates, which culminated in some satisfactory sexual intercourse and began a pleasant relationship that lasted for almost two years and ended relatively amicably.

(...)


Bloody funny, that. Nice to finish off with a bit of humour for a change. Thanks Jules

:)

10 comments:

  1. glad you're posting funny stuff now. I know you'll be fine. You have lots to live for and people that care, Big hug x

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  2. Very funny Joe. I love that Snow Patrol song too.

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  3. You know I clicked, when I saw this post on my way to bed, because it said erotic, right? LOL!

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  4. Annie: thank u, x

    Dicky: Glad you liked it. That song is one the only song I can comfortably say do better than Snow Patrol ;)

    Momma: haha, hope you liked it as much as I did. It's silly I know, but funny.

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  5. Thank you for the mention!

    Also, I liked what you said about songs and lyrics. I'll never forget how Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie yellow Polkerdot Bikini made me feel.

    Deep stuff.

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  6. Hi Joe and thanks for that tip, it sorted out the problem in one click.
    Of laughing or crying I prefer laughing any day...it helps overcome the feelings of adversity.

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  7. Hey Tempo, glad it worked. Thanks for dropping by

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  8. Jules: I'm glad you reaize the lyrical depth of Itsy Bitsy...

    Next time I hear it I'll think of you.
    Thanks for the comment :)

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  9. Reading through your blog (like visiting with an old friend)...and oh, how I love the lyrics to breakfast at tiffany's. They hold powerful, meaningful memories for me. Would love to hear you sing it. :)

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    1. I'd love to sing it to you MC. You, an American girl and my Taylor, an American guitar :)

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