Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Home is where the heart is

Went out last Saturday night for a meal and drinks at the Duke of Kent with the loved ones and said my goodbyes.

Scott, Katie, Mattie and Shaun..so difficult to leave behind...

...I wonder if I'll ever see her again?

At 9 years old T-Bone is not getting any younger...
...not a wrinkle in sight though, good genes


30 August 2011  11:10

Location: Funchal, Madeira, Portugal

Arrived yesterday, walked around like a proper tourist admiring the beautiful scenery, met lots of familiar faces, had lots to drink and loved every minute. Off on a roadtrip with DD.


Saturday, 27 August 2011

Laughing pains - Part 3

I heard fits of laughter from the front room this morning and wondered what Madeleine was watching on TV. I could hear Sky News in the background, covering the war in Lybia, so that couldn't be it.  My head was thumping due to the copious amounts of alcohol (*) ingested the previous night and I didn't feel like getting out of bed to find out.

Eventually Madeleine came into the bedroom, laptop in hand, to show me the source of her laughter.It was some website showing iPhone autocorrect text errors (see pics below), that made me LMAO.

(*)Yesterday was my last day at work and at 6:00 we all piled into the pub for a proper session. Some five hours later I got a cab home and remember paying the fare but can't remember calling one.Whose cab did I pinch? And was it really a cab? 

Here are some little gems I want to share with you;

I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Brilliant website. There are a couple more pics to show, from the same source, this time of strange names;

Bitch of a name...

Bitch of an airline..Internal flights only, just as well


Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Mad Dog Gone

Imagine having this loony as your leader? 

As reported back in February's post  "Springtime and Gaddafi",  I expected "Mad Dog" to be gone by the summer but was wrong...by a month or so.

As of earlier today, 23/08/11, the rebel fighters of Lybia have taken Tripoli and are in full control; Gaddafi is in hiding. Good riddance to the arrogant demented parasite with the tranny hairstyle.

The tin-pot soldier boy  took over 41 years ago by force and became the pariah, or more accurately, the embarrassment of the world. How he lasted this long, only the long-suffering people of Lybia can answer.

Where will Gaddafi run to? Venezuela, with its dysfunctional ruler Hugo Chaves, has offered asylum and  Zimbabwe's senile-embarrassment Robert Mugabe are the likely alternatives that spring to mind. The world is running short of countries ruled by fucking lecherous, light-fingered, below-average intelligence, depraved  scum-bag dictators. North Korea and Iran are outside chances.

Mad Dog Gaddafi is in hiding and is threatening to continue fighting until the end. Typical.  Hitler was the last big-time loser to do the same. Vile pigs like these always want to take as many with them as possible.

Time to rejoice and wish the people of Lybia a speedy recovery.

Welcome to the world community...umm...time will tell.


Sunday, 21 August 2011

So long, Dagenham...

Yes, my time at Dagenham Motors is coming to an end and I feel the urge to pay tribute to some of my dear colleagues in the only way I know how - in blogosphere.

Ten months have passed and I have enjoyed every single minute...umm...  almost... apart from the very very long hours, the weekend work, the morning meetings...no no, seriously, it has been a pleasure.

OK, now for the good-byes.

A fond farewell  to...*drum roll*...Jay Maisuria!

Full name: Jay "Low" Maisuria

Jay "Low" is a quiet, softly-spoken (hence the "Low" tag - not because he's got a cute butt, which he hasn't) guy who ironically comes from a background of loudspeaker sales. Jay keeps himself to himself and never gives much away. He recently got married and most of us didn't even know it (no invites, anyway). I thought he was out to lunch but he was on his honeymoon! Jay doesn't rush anything, hence the assumption.

Rumour has it that Jay "Low" once tried to describe to police a fight he witnessed between a snail and a tortoise and he said he couldn't remember it because 'it all happened so fast'!

On another occasion, according to local folklore, Jay was asked what school his son went to and he replied "no disrespect but I'd rather keep that to myself". It could  be that Jay "Low" is worried about kidnappings in the North West London area - all too common apparently...or is that in Mexico?..or Brazil?.. no, not Brazil, that's where his Bravox speakers come from. 

Brav who? I hear you ask? Precisely. I have no idea either.

And then on to...*drum roll*...Graham Anderson!

 Full name: Graham "Sandwich" Anderson

Graham is our resident "walking menu". When Graham is not eating he is planning his next meal and always starts the day by asking everyone if they want toast from the cafe. Graham is also leaving after 6 years of loyal service and I hear through the grapevine that the cafe next door is up for sale; the proprietor knows his business won't survive the sudden loss of revenue. Raspberry ripple sales will decrease also (cheap joke, not PC, but who cares...its my blog). Graham has a big appetite...but an even bigger heart. Thanks Graham.

And then onto...*drum roll*... Sumit Kanwar!

 Full name: Sumit "It" Kanwar

Conceited, big-headed, egotistical, chauvinistic and grumpy are adjectives some people may attribute to Sumit, but not me!  I don't think he's grumpy.

Sumit is the top salesman and makes sure everyone knows it; and for the benefit of new customers who don't know it there are countless reminders such as awards and diplomas plastered around his work area.

Sumit is undoubtedly a top performer (at work, not in bed, according to rumour) and consistently sells more cars than anyone else in the country (his humble words, not mine).

Oh yes, I nearly forgot, Sumit wears a Rolex watch and is always ready to prove its authenticity by showing the Argos receipt.

Good luck Sumit, keep it up (selling...that is)

And also...*drum roll*...Alvin Castillo 

Full name: Alvin "Bruv" Castillo

A recent addition to the team, "Bruv" has stormed into the showroom like a whirlwind; full of the kind of enthusiasm and urgency only seen in salesmen of perishable-goods about to go past their sell-by date. Alvin is indefatigable in his quest for deals and stores up future sales like his chipmunks store nuts for the winter. He is hungry enough to succeed, but not hungry enough to snatch the 'best customer of R Cafe' title from Graham.

Good luck Alvin.

Moving on to...*drum roll*...Leon Franklin!

Full name: Leon "God Boy" Franklin

Leon, aka "ten to two", is the freshman of the team. A recent arrival who is slotting in nicely due in part to his amiability and sense of humour. Leon left Mercedes for Ford; a decision akin to Ashley Cole leaving his beautiful wife Cheryl for that dodgy looking bimbo whose name escapes me. I'm sure he has his reasons and one day may even tell us, if we don't read it in the papers first.

Leon spends a fortune on sweets - yes, fruitellas, sherbets, jellies - and has been the kind of  God-Send to the local shop as Graham is to the cafe next door. I'd go as far as saying these two are responsible for half of the total consumption of food and confectionery in Alperton.

And finally...*drum roll*...Peter Lawson!

Full name: Peter "Griffin" Lawson

Peter is the manager who manages to entertain and punish us in equal measure. Always has something to say and is always right - even when he's wrong! Our very own "family guy", Peter has a great sense of humour (supports Doncaster Rovers for a start) and tells the odd joke after laying into us in the morning meetings.

Peter has been on a diet ever since I started.  I think its the  "mañana" or "see-food" diet. I know he's on a diet because he always asks for brown bread toast and rubs his ample mid rift as if checking progress. Brown bread toast smothered in butter and marmalade must be some kind of low calorie food in his diet.

Peter has been my mentor, tutor and friend, and for that I am eternally grateful. Thanks Peter

Last but not least, hugs to;

Ivan, Dawn,Carol, Karen, Paris, Gwenne, Val, Dot, Vlad, the Service crew, the Parts crew, the Bodyshop crew, the Business Centre crew, Valeters and car-park Michael.

It has been a pleasure working with you all.

<3 <3

Friday, 12 August 2011

Don't like it? Don't have it, bigot!

I saw the following message on FB today and liked it so much I felt I should share it with you. Simple, sweet and ever so relevant in our intolerant and unforgiving world.
Don't like gay marriages? Don't have one
Don't like abortion? Don't have one
Don't like sex? Don't have it
Don't like drugs? Don't do them
Don't like porn? Don't watch it
Don't like alcohol? Don't drink it
Don't like your rights taken away? Don't take away someone else's!
Bigotry is a crime against humanity. It is a cancer that, if left unchecked, spreads and destroys the very fabric of society. Ironically (or not) the most eloquent bigots I have had the displeasure of meeting are also the most religious.
Coincidence? I don't think so. 
Here are some examples of bigotry for you to hate;
I don't believe in reincarnation - or in God for that matter - but if I did, I would pray for all bigots to come back as gays, homeless, single-parents...etc...
...wouldn't it be great to see them squirming, apologising, crawling back into our affections? Uhmmm, maybe not. I'm beginning to sound like one of them. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Baggy and Saggy

The customer maneuvered his way into our showroom, blissfully unaware that all the salesmen were ridiculing and giggling at each and every step he attempted to take. Attempted, for the reasons I'm about to illustrate.

This picture is from Google Images  -
for reference purposes only - to illustrate
the gear worn by the customer
low-slung, sagging, baggy pants - 
call it what you like, I call it 
"just crapped in my pants" pants

He took each step tentatively, as if having to assess each muscle movement. He reminded me of a stick-insect; long lean and legs wide apart. 

My artists impression of the real 

He had to keep his knees two feet apart (see above) at all times to prevent his jeans from hitting the deck. As a result he walked with the gape of an orangutan with piles.

What's all this about? I remember thinking (wishful thinking) some years back this fad wouldn't last...but I was wrong. Its still going strong! Arghhhhhhhhhh arghhhhh

 Pull your trousers up and get a fucking job!

Can you imagine tuning up for a meeting 
dressed like this?

Why is it that this pathetic fad refuses to go away?

...I digress...

Why is it that dog hairs stick to everything but the dog?

Why is it that people say "bless you" when I sneeze germs all over them?

Why is it that when I need a policeman they're never around but when I go over the speed limit they suddenly appear?

Why is it that some parents worry when their children have an imaginary friend but then encourage them to believe in God?

Why...why ?

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Riots in London

After 4 nights of rioting looting and pillaging, our TV screens are filled  in equal measure, with images of lawlessness and politicians giving their take on events.

Reasons such as "unemployed youth with no prospects" and "poverty" and even more ridiculous "angry marginalized youth" are being banded about as legitimate and probable reasons for recent events.  The more sensible among us knows these reasons are total nonsense.

The looting is being done by well dressed youngsters with i-phones and blackberries and wearing the latest Nike trainers.

I have seen the TV reports and witnessed these hooligans laughing and joking while planning the next raid. The truth is, these riots are opportunities for the thieves and criminals to take advantage of the over-stretched police force. 

The looting is happening because these  youngsters know they can get away with it. Simple.

They know the chances of stealing a laptop, mobile phone or plasma screen are high while the risk of getting caught is very low. And even more worryingly, they are enjoying the buzz. Lets face it, this is excitement on a grand scale!

The policing methods used on the first 3 nights were too soft, too lenient, too politically-correct and totally ineffective. By last night the police were back to doing what they do best and the streets went quiet.

It's all over for now. The spark set by the demonstration over the police shooting of Mak Duggan started the fire; opportunism and thuggery spread the flames.

I would've like to see more assertive action from the prime minister than just cutting short his holiday.

I would've liked to see the whole community stand up against the rioters, come out of their houses with brooms, baseball bats and whatever else they could use as weapons and reclaim their streets. I didn't like to see bystanders doing nothing and relying on the police to do it all.

Society needs to fight back.

Society must fight back when necessary to protect its values.

Society must not become lambs-to-slaughter

The big clean-up has started and the glaziers are the only winners.

Come to think of it, the glaziers aren't the ONLY winners. My blog also benefited from my previous entry by being top of the Google search page and bringing in an extra thousand hits!

Fame for a day! Wooohoooo!


Monday, 8 August 2011

Riots? Not in Greenford!

Riots are taking place across London. North, East and South London, to be precise. I've always said 'West Is Best' and here is proof. 

These riots have nothing to do with the original protests over the killing of Mark Duggan by police officers two weeks ago,but all to do with young unemployed thugs taking advantage of the situation.

photos; The Daily Mail

TV images of hooded hooligans smashing shop windows, looting and throwing bricks at the police have been filling our screens for the last two days.

I can't see the riots reaching Greenford. Not because the residents are more law-abiding, but simply because there is nothing in our high street worth looting! Yes, sad but true.

Greenford High Street shopping consists of a few news agents, a KFC, 2 kebab shops, 2 charity shops  and...that's about it!

The tiny High Street Shopping Centre (if you can call it that) consists of three (yes, 3) shops. A mobile phone repair shop a hairdresser an a haberdashery shop. I can't see looters going through the trouble of planning a raid in Greenford for a few reels of cotton and a couple of cheap handbags.

Or to smash-and-grab at Poundland.

Greenford is one of the few examples of 'less means more'


Sunday, 7 August 2011

They've killed the goose!

Street rioting is back in the UK. Just like the bad old days of the Thatcher era.

Wapping Student Riots and now last night in Tottenham, you just know the Conservatives are back in power.

History repeats itself. Lessons are not heeded.  England (in fact the world) is a far better place when the Left are in power; it usually results in a kinder, more humane society (see/google UN stats on quality of life)

And how about the credit rating fiasco of late?

Why are some governments, noticeably the US, UK, Greece, Italy, Spain in trouble with overspending and over-borrowing?

Those countries have pursued capitalist policies of the far-right over the last few decades; policies where the banking sector and stock markets ruled supreme and unhindered; policies that have resulted in those governments selling off all public assets and industries for short-term gain; policies that have placed all emphasis on free-market forces; policies that have effectively allowed those short-sighted governments to 'kill the goose that laid the golden eggs'.  

Whose fucking crap idea was that?
Selling off public assets such as energy and utilities supply, rail and public transport, has effectively turned off the tap that once replenished the coffers of those countries. Those profits now line the pockets of the multi-nationals and the super-rich.  

Whose fucking crap idea was that?

All the money raised from the great sell-off of the twentieth century has long  gone and those governments now have no other income but taxes. When the economy slows down tax revenue reduces and borrowing increases. Hence the situation now faced by the US and all its 'lambs-to-slaughter' followers in the Western World.  

Whose fucking crap idea was that?

China doesn't have the same problem. Over there the government is still intrinsically socialist and the public sector is huge; the economy grows, the tax revenue grows and most importantly, when the reverse happens the public sector still brings in huge profits to prop up government borrowing. Incidentally (or not) just over 29% of the US government debt is to China. The next century belongs to China and the West better learn and learn quickly.

The Left rule with the heart, the Right rule with the head.  If only there was a political movement that did both!

Any suggestions on how we can start such movement? If yes, please leave a comment.

Most of us decent human beings need compassion, understanding and empathy to be happy with life. When the Left are in charge there is less unemployment, less crime, shorter NHS waiting lists and more social harmony.

This is not a party-political broadcast; I don't care much for politics or politicians; but I just can't help myself.  I don't like turning on the TV before getting ready for work and witnessing the savagery of street riots. History repeating itself again...and again.


Monday, 1 August 2011

What a difference a year makes!

Future plans are constantly changing in my life of changing constants.

Plans for the next chapter are being prepared; taking shape, as a set of ideas and past experiences pave the way forward. Madeira beckons once more.

Madeira, a floating garden in the middle of the Atlantic. 
A small pocket of tranquility in a very chaotic world

It seems a lifetime ago since I posted Homeward Bound. All of twelve months! I was so looking forward to returning to London that I had conveniently forgotten how difficult life here can be at times. By difficult I mean busy, fast-paced, expensive, and in my case, capped with a 60-plus hours working week

I work to live, not the other way round.

In my entry New Beginning In Old Surroundings of  May 17, 2010, I wrote  "a positive mind-set is all that's required to overcome life's obstacles". A year down the line I find myself doubting the accuracy of that statement. Is that really all it takes?

Funchal is the trendy and peaceful capital of Madeira

Back to Madeira it is then, for some more of what I had before.  The laid-back life-style, the music, the weather, the peace of mind, the food and drink, the road-trips, the swimming, the feeling of having bundles of energy and the feeling of well-being...of being alive!

And on a different note...

...what a difference 10 years make!

In 1980, Saddam Hussein, late leader of Iraq, was the darling of the West and could do no wrong. Iraq had gone to war against the Ayatollah-State of Iran and the West couldn't do enough to help Saddam. Weapons, (later used against the West)  financial aid and military advice flowed from the West to Baghdad. 

Donald Rumsfeld and Saddam 1983
Some 10 years later the West turned on Saddam and eventually led him to the gallows. I felt sorry  seeing the ragged features and fear on the face of a once proud and powerful man, as he was led to the noose by his old pals.

No way to treat an old friend, I say.

Had Saddam Hussein changed over the decade? No, of course he hadn't. The West's priorities had changed  and oil supplies had become of paramount importance.

Hypocrisy at its ugliest from the leaders of the supposedly free world.


What a difference 22 years makes!

Back in 1979 the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan in support of the under-pressure Marxist regime of Kabul. An all out war ensued between the Russians and rebel Afghan forces and the West promptly jumped in to help the  freedom fighters of Afghanistan. Weapons (later used against the West) financial aid and military advice flowed into Afghanistan.

Those freedom fighters were the Mujahideen and the Taliban. Yes, the same Taliban that some years later sheltered Osama Bin Laden and his Al-Qaeda mob. The same Taliban that are now killing their own people with daily acts of terrorism. The very same Taliban that are now murdering countless soldiers of the US led coalition.

Is that a case of the Taliban 'biting the hand that feeds them'?

No. Not in my opinion. The Taliban should never have been helped by the West anyway. Why should the West support a movement as archaic and prejudiced, anti-women and anti-democracy as the Taliban? Never mind the fact that the Soviet Union were seen as a bigger threat back then, rather them than the Taliban, anytime. The struggle between Democracy and Communism got in the way of common-sense. And not for the first time.

Hypocrisy and opportunism...again...from the so-called  free-world.