Saturday, 10 December 2011

Can it really be true?

I read in a magazine yesterday that men can, and often do, fall in love very quickly; within minutes sometimes. I don't remember the sample size of this survey or the validity of the researchers but I do agree with it. I'm sure it has happened to me, and not so long ago. After all we men are simple creatures driven by desire and impulse. Maybe simple is not the right adjective to use here. Uncomplicated? Less complicated? Yes, that's it.

But just as quick as some men fall in love, some women seem to fall out of and in love again. That's a more interesting fact.

Take for instance my case with  Madeleine (like you didn't already know). We had a relationship that lasted 4 years. Stormy, volatile years yes, but 4 years nonetheless.

As recently as 2 months ago Madeleine and I were discussing our future plans. We spoke about the home we were going to move into, the pet goats, cat, dog, pug and mini-pig, the children, and our future business plan. 

Most importantly, Madeleine told me how she loved me more than anything else and wanted us to be together , forever.

It is because of such words, spoken frequently, that kept me trying to make a go of our doomed relationship. In other words, I knew things weren't right but somehow felt that I should work at it because there was love involved on both parts. Or was there?

A month after that she was seeing someone else! 

OK, we had all but broken up but still...

Madeleine came around to my place last week to collect some of her stuff and I asked her if she was in love with this new chap and after a short pause, she answered 'yes'. The kind of yes that means; uhmmm? I think so.

Now that's a quick turn around.

I would appreciate any comment from my dear blog friends that may help me understand this situation. But  don't worry, I'm not holding my breath!



  1. Not sure what to say about this Joe. You haven't mentioned how you feel; you obviously still care for her? If she's with someone else it could be a dead for you.

  2. Forget trying to understand will only hurt your head.
    I like women, I really do but I'm a realist and know they are driven by other things that we men. Men are basic creatures who want to breed with pretty much any good woman but women are centered on always trading up to something better (in their eyes...subject to change)One week you're the best, next week there may well be someone better on the horizon.
    I dont mean to denigrate woman here, they (like us) are subject to millenniums of inter breeding, genes and selective breeding to make the best human there is....

  3. Ahhh so youre the bloke from funchal! i been racking my brains over my GA stats thinking...who da fuck do i know from funchal??? closed...
    my word..that is a quick turn around in emotional investment...a similar thing happened to me and it shattered me....i thought, well if you can so easily fall in love with someone after such a short period what sort of value do you hold for that emotion??? Did you really mean it for me??
    I mean im taking it to the nth degree here, but still...that my friend is one kick in the goolies to be sure...
    move on my sounds corny but other fish in the ocean etc

  4. I am reminded of Tina Turner's song "What's Love Got To Do With It?" Love isn't going to save something that wasn't meant to be. Also, this woman does not sound very healthy. Based on the limited info I have I would say let her go.

  5. Dicky:

    It still hurts. I guess I didn't believe it was REALLY over until she moved on. I know it's over now and wouldn't want her back regardless. Thanks for the comment.


    Yeah, I agree now, it's a futile exercise trying to fully understand our opposites - and they are, in every sense of the word. Thanks for the comment


    Yeah, I'm the one in Funchal. Came across your blog via Dicky Carter. I should've been more cautious and less gullible from the start - she fell in love with me after two sessions! haha Far too soon. Thanks for the comment


    Very perceptive of you. I don't think she is all there either - in fact, I know she isn't. And yes, I wouldn't have her back no matter what.
    I've just checked your blog and am following. Looks interesting. Thanks for the comment

  6. Women: When you run they run after you, BUT when you run after them they run even further away./Martin (Ziggy)

  7. Ziggy!! Brilliant, I love that and agree wholeheartedly. Will ensure I run the other way next time haha!