Thursday, 15 November 2012

Life's mistakes are what the wise call experience

When history repeats itself and the event is good and positive, that's fine, but when it is bad or negative it means we're not learning by past mistakes.

Although I agree with this declaration and try to live by it, I am guilty, more often than I'd like, of failing to heed the advice of my own conscience.

This "failure" manifests itself repeatedly in my quest to find someone to love. I'd like to think I am old and wise enough to know better - but clearly that's not the case.  The more I deal with women the less I seem to know about them!  And when I get it completely wrong  I run the risk of losing a friend.

That won't do.

I wonder if there is a comprehensive  handbook/manual of some kind or an encyclopedia on the female species mindset on this subject? If anyone knows out there in blogland please let me know.

I have lots of female friends, and when I ask their opinion on these matters, I get differing and contradictive  views. I ask because, they being women, are much more likely to know how my prospective and desired thinks.

Here follows the advice from four different friends after each being told the story separately and as accurately as I could muster.

"If I were you I'd look elsewhere - give up"

"If I were you I'd continue and let her know exactly how you feel"

"If I were you I wouldn't give up hope"

"If I were you I'd distance myself and let her take the next step"

Even more interesting is the fact that the object of my desire is known to all four of them.

As Leonard Cohen once wrote, and I quote;

"All the rocket ships are flying through the sky
the holy books are open wide
doctors working day and night
but they´ll never ever find a cure for love" 

...or a comprehensive and foolproof handbook




  1. Love is having faith Joe. The right girl will come along soon, I'm sure of it.

  2. Thanks Dicky, I know but I'm rather impatient :)

  3. You didn't ask This friend of yours.
    There's no handbook or advice that will decide for you.
    And the most important thing, not about women but about relashionships is that deeply inside you know if it is worth fighting for it or give up.
    The problem is that sometimes we overthink about it and we get confused. We want things to be in a way but they are other...
    Follow and listen to your heart. What he's saying to you? Not what you would like it to say but what he is really saying...

    Big hugh my friend!!!

    (se eu disse muitas asneiras em ingles.........
    Let me know and I'll write in portuguese!)

    1. I DO agree with you Claudia, the "follow your heart" part - but that´s all I ever do, follow my heart, and more often than not, straight into a blind alley :(

      ps. Não disseste asneiras nenhumas :) o teu portugues é mais do que sufeciente para os teus comentarios

      Big hug to you Claudia xx

  4. The cure for love is marriage.

    1. I agree, I'm all for it and actively looking. Doesn't have to be marriage as such but commitment and cohabiting...that'll do me. I wish you had left a name, I'm always curious with anonymous comments, but thanks anyway :)