It is time I take stock and choose carefully the direction my life will take. A certain amount of fear and trepidation is seeping into my mind as I contemplate the possibility of returning to London.
A return to my spiritual home, where my heart and soul wander the same paths as my sons and daughter, is what I desire, but I also know it is near enough impossible due to financial restraints imposed upon me by a spurned and revenge-seeking wife.
My beloved offspring are 2000 miles away, beyond my reach and intimacy and as time goes on, the situation gets harder and harder to bare. I long to converse in person (not over the airwaves) with them, and share their lives, their hopes and aspirations and most importantly, their unconditional love. I have distanced myself from them not through choice but by consequences brought about by greed and need for revenge of someone who, for two decades, was my loyal companion. The self same person who has kept everything we ever possessed conjointly, including my surname, and now seems to rejoice at inflicting upon me the severest wound of all - separation from my children.
Sarah, how much longer do you intend to keep punishing me while simultaneously depriving our son, whom you say you care for, of the father he loves and needs?
Our personal battle, the one you started by refusing to accept my right to end a faltering relationship, is not only hurting me and you know it. The message you give is that revenge is more important to you than the well-being of our son - something I refuse to believe.
There are no victors in this war of yours, only victims who may one day seek justice and retribution.
Well put, Joe. Of course, I don't need to know all the ugly details, but I think you have some great points. Children are better off with a loving father around them, even grown children. I hope it gets worked out soon.
ReplyDeleteIf she reads this post it may just jolt her into doing the right thing, or even comment, but somehow i doubt it :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with it Joe but from my experience women are quite good at holding a grudge.
ReplyDeleteSo true Tempo
DeleteActually I have something to add to my previous comment.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was feeling low after the breakdown in my own marriage my dear old aunt said that it was the greatest tragedy that when a marriage breaks both sides start looking to the dozen bad things that happened in the marriage instead of the thousand good things...
I actually remember all the good things and have posted about it - there were many. I just can't stand the grudge and her refusal to let go fracefully - revenge is a poison that destroys people's lives
DeleteHeartfelt stuff indeed. Please let us know if you do come back. Would live to meet for coffee.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dicky, I'd also enjoy a drink and chat with you and will let you know
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