It was going to be held at a venue in Windsor and the theme was to be “James Bond”. The programme advertised a 5 course dinner, cocktails and a show by Bond look-alikes and the famous Bond Girls.
It would have been a good night out and an ideal situation to get to know the people I work with, as I have only been with the company 5 weeks; but the weather gods have put a stop to that.
Free meal, drinks and live show would have gone down a treat, but earlier today the skies decided to open and lay a foot-deep carpet of snow all over the south-east.
As we all know, the UK is never prepared for extreme weather conditions and the country usually grinds to a halt at the sight of snow, rain, sunshine, autumn leaves and so on. But tonight of all nights? Why?
We were all sent home early, at noon instead of the usual 5:30, to avoid the blizzard and to get ready for tonight. Text messages followed an hour later informing us all the party was cancelled.
It took me 4 hours to drive home, a journey that usually takes half an hour and just for good measure, the car decided not to climb the hill near home and skid to a halt by the roadside instead. I had to walk 15 minutes, knee-deep in snow, cold and angry as hell at being stranded and party-less.
So, to all those lucky folks enjoying their Christmas party tonight, all I can say is;
“I hope you all get stranded and suffer mild hypothermia on your way home; and tomorrow may all your digits drop off with frostbite, into the very same bucket you're spewing up your belly-full of stale booze”
Merry Christmas, love and peace to all mankind
…I feel better now