Sunday, 12 June 2011

the further I look, the less I see (celebrity bash)

I am getting more and more confused trying to understand what it is that turns some people into celebrities and  house-hold names for no apparent  reason.  I'm also confused about lots of other things as well but will concentrate on this topic for now. Why do some people become famous with little or no talent?

Before you get on your high-horse and criticize me for attacking (defenceless) celebs who can't answer back, let me just remind you  that they can. They are welcome to leave a comment,  or even just a tic or an x.

I don't want to sound bitter or envious (though I probably am) but I have gone through life trying to become rich and famous and have so far...ahem... not quite got there.

I have written songs and worked with famous musicians in the hope of getting at least one song released that would set me up for life - but... no way Jose.

I have worked hard with my career in the motor trade and continue to do so, but it obviously takes more than sheer hard work to make it.

So what is The Secret?    If I ever discover what it is  I'll be sure to become rich and famous.

And while I try to look for The Secret, allow me to indulge in one of my favourite past-times - having a go at  celebs who shouldn't be - by comparing some of them with an inflatable balloon-animal.

Why balloon-animals I hear you ask? Why not?

            Jordan; over-inflated?                                Doggie; just right

A.k.a. Katie Price, started her career as a topless model. If that's not a talent then what is? It can't be easy lifting up your top for the boys, can it?
Come to think of it I knew someone at school who did that sort of thing for free but never became famous. Sod's law I guess.

I once saw a picture of one of Jordan's babies in a mag and recognized it instantly. No denying whose baby it was. I could tell by the stretch-marks around the baby's mouth.

Can you imagine what Ms Jordan will look like when in her seventies or eighties? Will she be able to walk upright?


Paris; over-inflated bank account?                  Doggie; just right

Paris Hilton;
How about Paris? That cheap TV show 'Paris Hilton's BFF' is her claim to fame (and shagging Ronaldo). Awarded to her no doubt because of her famous name. Hilton, I mean, not Paris.


Justin; over-inflated profile?                     Doggie;just right

Justin Bieber; 

I'm still waiting to hear any (good) song by the mega-star teenager. How long will  I have to wait? Better still, why am I waiting? Have I got nothing better to do like watching grass grow  or something?

He must have stepped on a lot of balloon doggie-poo to be that lucky.


Lindsey; over-inflated lips?                    Doggie; just right

Lindsey Lohan;

In and out of jail and any other rehab institution around, seems to be delivering fame to the wayward Ms Lohan. Throw in a couple of naff films and a lesbian fling and...

Ta Da! Fame!

'nuff said, I feel better now


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