I chatted with him over a few drinks and soon realised the error of my ways. Him, as in the boyfriend of my latest flame.
At first I considered him a rival; an enemy to avoid at all costs, but as the conversation progressed it became apparent this was not the case. He is a nice person. A gentle and interesting soul I would choose as a friend, under different circumstances.
The futile nature of my ill-conceived plan to win her heart became obvious as the night went on. After all, he is with her, probably now.
He speaks highly of her. Doesn't seem to pay her much attention though. Not as much as I would, given half a chance.
She displays genuine affection for him; in public and in my presence. Insurmountable problem, I think.
What no earth made me think I could step in between them?
Maybe some arrogant impulse created in the recesses of my love-sick mind.
And did I really receive the kind of signals from her I was hoping for?
Probably a case of wishful thinking playing havoc with my perception.
And what if she were to fall for me?
What could I possibly offer her, aside from love, companionship, encouragement and support?
And what of the age difference between us?
Would it not create a colossal conflict of aspirations and ideas?
I am, after all, two thirds of the way into a journey she is merely starting. I may be young of heart and mind, but the hands of time will not slow for me and enable her to catch up. Not even get close.
Why do I pursue such impossible dreams?
Why do I make it so difficult for myself?
Because I adore her, that's why.
She looked particularly lovely last Sunday night. All dressed in elegant black, long, wavy, silky hair complimenting the most beautiful deep-brown eyes I've ever seen.
Her eyes, oh those eyes that can look straight through me and make my heart stop, in an attempt to freeze time. It is impossible to not look at her eyes for more than the briefest of moments.
I simply had to constantly look at her, as if by doing so I was feeding my burning desire to hold her in my arms and kiss her tenderly.
Anyway, as I was saying before getting carried away, I have to stop this foolish pursuit.
I have to stop making my feelings for her so blatantly obvious.
But I cannot stop adoring her.
That my friends, is simply way beyond my control.