Autumn Tears

Autumn:

Peaceful. Colourful. Serene. Melancholy

Spending a fair amount of time out in the (partial) wilderness of lakes around Hampshire has made me realise my love for Autumn increases with each passing year.

The earthy smells of freshly sprinkled rain, whose tender drops bounce off my chilled hands and onto discarded leaves, like some lost but cherished memories, scattered forever into the mud.

It's strange how good and bad memories both bring sadness. Sadness for the eternal trauma bad memories inflict on us, and sadness for the good memories we can't re-live and reclaim.

The gentle chill, easily made bearable and comfortable with appropriate clothing, gives the opportunity to observe first hand how nature, in it's cyclical, infinite and well-rehearsed routine, prepares to batten down the hatches for winter.

The hurried feeding of ducks, swans and all kind of fauna, as they prepare for a frugal winter and the scarcity of natural  food, reminds me of shoppers preparing for Christmas.

It is also a time of year when I miss most the loved ones who have gone, forever, from my life.

I don't know why autumn has such a melancholy effect on me, but it does. I guess it is because I feel the aging process of the year, reaching its finality, as a reflection of the relentless march forward of my own life, towards my eventual and personal demise.

And a song is on repeat-play in my head. A beautiful song by Justin Hayward, whose words are etched permanently in my mind.



The summer sun is fading as the year grows old...

Through autumn's gown we used to kick our way. You always loved this time of year
Those fallen leaves lie undisturbed now...because you're not here.

A gentle rain falls softly on my weary eyes, as if to hide a lonely tear...

:(