Saturday, 20 July 2013

Is Self-Imposed Social Exclusion a Sign Of Introversion?


Dear blog-friends,

please let me know what you think about the title of this post. I appreciate and welcome your comments.

***

I am going through a confusing phase regarding my current desire to spend time with my close family instead of going out in search of a possible partner and/or new friends.

After spending years socializing to the maximum limit of self-endurance...





I find myself presently opting to concentrate in work and time with my loving off-spring.

Katie

Mattie, Katie and Shaun


Mattie
To the cynic among us, it may come across as an obvious attempt to make amends for past deeds and possible insufficient contact with those same people I now give all my time to - but I know differently.

***

My present life-style offers me unconditional freedom to do as I like, when I like.

My leisure time activity can be decided on impulse, without having to consult with anyone.

My income is sufficient to do what I want.

And, most importantly, I seldom refuse invitations to socialize. I simply do not pursue those opportunities as often as I could. Again, through choice.

All those who know me well enough, know that my three children have always been at the top of my list of priorities. I adore them and always have. They brighten up my life. They fill me with happiness and contentment. I love their company. And since they have grown up, they also fill me with enormous amounts of pride at the kind of people they have become.

***

Do I want to change? Do I need the hassle of getting to know someone new and have to adapt to the restrictions such a union would impose?

How I have managed to adapt to such a change in life-style is beyond me. I had no idea I was capable of coping with, and enjoying, such a contrasting life-change.

But I have.

Effortlessly.

Life is truly wonderful, especially when infrequent spells of loneliness...



...are so easy to endure.

:)
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22 comments:

  1. MC20 July 2013 at 07:31

    Joe, it does not sound that you are self-imposing social exclusion, but rather altering the society in which you participate. Your family and friends are indeed social. You are not locking yourself in your home, turning down invites. :) I am a complete introvert, always choosing to spend my time with a select few than a varied many. But that does not equal social isolation...and in fact, in times of loneliness, I have found being in a large group only compounds the negative feeling...being alone is peaceful, and not a bad thing at all. :)

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    1. Joe Pereira21 July 2013 at 03:51

      Hi MC,that sounds right - I am simply altering my world. It is amazing how a person can get to know another simply by their blog writing. You know me too well :)

      Delete
    2. MC28 July 2013 at 12:33

      Ah Joe. Writing is the window to the soul, no? ;) Someday, my friend.

      Delete
    3. Joe Pereira28 July 2013 at 13:52

      Writing is indeed a window to my soul-no doubt. I look forward to someday...my friend :)

      Delete
  2. Michael Powers20 July 2013 at 19:06

    Howdy Joe, It's odd, you and I. We're about the same age. We're both pretty intelligent. We would probably describe ourselves a good, decent human beings (though that may be more for others to decide), yet our lives are completely different. Due to a large dose of x-rays encountered while in the military, I've never had children. While it is cause for regret, I still manage to impart some semblance of wisdom to the kids I work with. My fondness for them sometimes manifests itself in a paternalistic fashion, but they don't seem to mind too much. I've always been comfortable with solitude. Too comfortable, perhaps. That may be because I spent most of my childhood living inside my own head. In recent years, I've made a conscious effort to become a part of the world around me. Not always with success. It sounds like you appreciate what you have. If you didn't, well, you'd probably be an American. I don't see why you can't have both. You deserve whatever happiness this life holds.

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    1. Joe Pereira21 July 2013 at 03:56

      Thank you Michael, for your kind words. I'd say we have a hell of a lot in common :)

      Delete
  3. PhilipH21 July 2013 at 02:51

    "They brighten up my life. They fill me with happiness and contentment. I love their company. And since they have grown up, they also fill me with enormous amounts of pride at the kind of people they have become."

    What more can you possibly want?
    ------------------------------------------
    An excerpt from DESIDERATA:

    'Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
    As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
    Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
    Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.'
    ---------------------------------
    Good way of thinking, don't you think?

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    Replies
    1. Joe Pereira21 July 2013 at 04:02

      HI Philip - I am grateful, no doubt,and have written several posts saying so. That excerpt is wonderful advice and describes perfectly my present condition. Thanks for sharing

      Delete
  4. Kane21 July 2013 at 19:59

    Sometimes I get to thinking how we become different people at certain points in our lives. And then change back to who we were in an instant.

    Perhaps, life simply has its own seasons. Each carries its own beauty and longing.

    You have a beautiful family Joe. Something I hope to have … someday =)

    Do what you must, and I trust you'll find your feet will carry you always back home.

    K

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    Replies
    1. Joe Pereira22 July 2013 at 12:21

      Thank you Kane, for your kind words. I think you're right about life having its own seasons - I like the idea :)

      Delete
  5. Gorilla Bananas21 July 2013 at 23:21

    A bit of introversion is no bad thing. Buddhists monks use introversion to achieve spiritual contentment. It's good that you're comfortable with your life and not yearning for change - I'm sure it's making you a better father to your children.

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    Replies
    1. Joe Pereira22 July 2013 at 08:37

      Thanks for your comment and advice GB. There are countless humans who could learn a thing or two from you, my simian friend,and that includes me. No wonder your safari park manager's wife holds you in such high regard :)

      Delete
  6. Nota Bene22 July 2013 at 07:42

    It's nice to have the choice. Use it. And use it again when you need to...

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  7. Gina Gao22 July 2013 at 13:54

    I consider myself an introverted person. It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Joe Pereira23 July 2013 at 13:37

      Hi Gina, I also don't think it is necessarily a bad thing - but changing from one to the other?! :)

      Delete
  8. Tempo23 July 2013 at 01:55

    These things change over time and probably change back... I used to be a DJ and partied constantly for years, after I gave it up I stopped partying and never missed it one bit.

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    1. Joe Pereira23 July 2013 at 13:39

      Hi Kymbo, that's what doesn't make sense to me at times - I too am not missing anything !?!

      Delete
    2. Tempo24 July 2013 at 01:41

      Yes, it was a surprise to me as well, I kept thinking I'd miss it and want to go out and get messed up but it just didnt ever happen. I wonder if we just get it pout of our systems and find no need to go back to it..

      Delete
    3. Joe Pereira24 July 2013 at 12:25

      That's probably the case - been there and done it, and can always revert to it if we want, and maybe there lies the reason for lack of desire or urgency :)

      Delete
  9. Rajiv Sankarapillai25 July 2013 at 07:37

    Great post !
    Nice blog !

    ReplyDelete

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