Tuesday, 30 November 2010

laughing pains - part 2

A few things have made me smile lately and it's only right I should share them with you.

I'm thinking of joining a local social club. I see these places as cheap and friendly, right up my street in these tough times, but am having second thoughts. Ive been put off by a notice at the entrance of the one I had in mind, asking for new members to join the bridge tournament.


That's for old folks, not for the likes of me...vibrant, vivacious, young(ish), ever-ready, hell-raiser (and a bit of a liar). Before I left, I stuck a post-it to the notice that said;

"Bridge is like sex. If you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand"


Down by the shopping mall in Wycombe, someone had scribbled a caption on an old poster of the twilight saga, under the handsome face of  vampire "Edward Cullen";

"Not bad for a guy who can't use a mirror" 

Get it? Vampire?..mirror?.. Oh, never mind.

Can you imagine life without ever looking into a mirror? Must be impossible for most, if not for all people. How would I shave? Or pick a spot? How would girls (and some boys) put on their make up? This leads me onto my last observation.

I must confess, I hardly ever watch films. Don't know why, I just don't have the patience to watch most films. I am no film-buff. In fact for years I thought "Deep Throat" was a film about a giraffe!

Anyway, as you all probably know, celebrity mega-star Cheryl Cole is very popular in the UK. I guess it is for many reasons, like the fact that she is extremely beautiful, a talented singer and also ex-wife of a famous footballer. Little wonder her face is absolutely everywhere, advertising everything under the sun.

Some bitter scribe decided to deface one of Cheryl Cole's  "L'Oreal" posters on the bus stop with the bitchy remark "All beauty but no brains". Nasty, jealous remark if you ask me.

Just below that caption, someone else wanted the last say on the matter by declaring;

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think"

Very well said I think...

...and finally, I would like to send best wishes to my friend "Boysy" who is in hospital with an embarrassing injury, sustained while enjoying a one night stand with a female clown.

She twisted his penis into a poodle.

Get well soon Boysy!


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